My mom said something the other day that sparked my husband
to say the following:
“And THAT is what is holding women back from advancing in
the workplace.”
I was shocked. He is not really someone that says things
like that in support of women or anything really. He just doesn’t get that
involved generally or whole-heartedly unless it is in regards to fantasy
football or our Frenchie. It sort of makes it seem like he doesn’t truly care
(and thus notice) much around him, when the truth is that he is the most aware
person I have ever met. This response to what my mom said was so fast, it was
like he was thinking about it at that very moment.
I was shocked in a good way though. He had a point. (He is
so smart.) By my mother saying that she is “not afraid to act stupid around
people to get what she needs,” she was inadvertently holding back women
everywhere because she was just acting like another dumb girl.
Which begs the point, how many other women are also doing
this? And another one, I have to admit, I do it too.
I HATE telling guys and girls alike that I am an architect.
For one, it sounds kind of haughty. I usually tell them I am a designer instead. A female being an interior designer makes sense. People are
comfortable with that. They know what I do and they know what to expect. Saying
I am an architect makes things so much harder on me. I feel like I have to
explain myself.
When you announce to the room (OK, that’s dramatic) that you
are an architect, the expectation is elevated. Who do I think I am, coming in
here and having fun and not knowing about politics? What exactly did I do anyways… and could I be trusted? What kind of
architect can make a lewd joke and throw back a few cocktails? Surely there
must be some mistake. What does this mystical creature, this female architect,
do?
More often than not, I get this question, “So, like a REAL
architect?” Or even this gem of a statement of, “You’re not an ACTUAL
architect.” Most recently, this gentleman at a marketing event told me when we
started chatting that he couldn’t help me with his services because he didn’t
do residential contracting. He ASSUMED I designed houses and my response to him
was, neither do I but it doesn’t sound like we would be a good fit anyways.
Zing!
Before my husband was my husband, he would pick up girls in
the bar with the most ridiculous of lines (so he tells me). Girls would
actually believe that he was a matador or even dolphin trainer while he made
these screechy noises (demonstrating to them of course)… and they believed him!
Bless their hearts. He can be a matador, but I can’t be an architect?
So to your question, yes, I am an effing real architect. Mike
Brady, George Costanza, Ted Mosby. I get it, these are the architects in which
you are most familiar. TV architects are male. The 90s movie One Fine Day in which Michelle Pfeiffer
plays a female architect who is a single parent while living in NYC, is about
the closest thing to a female architect role that I have seen, and 99% of men
have not seen that movie.
I need to stop doing this. Would I tell people that I was a nurse if I was actually a doctor? I
wonder if females deal with this all over the globe regardless of
their title. Right now it just becomes blatantly clear to me that I need to
help set a precedent for women all over. I think this is more a story about being comfortable as yourself than anything else.
So, hello, my name is Joellen and I am an architect. I
design both large and small commercial buildings with a little bit of
residential design experience as well. Nice to meet you.
