In reality, two years later, I am still trying to pursue all of these activities and interests. Starting a blog has only added to my “to do” list – something that I was trying to whittle down – and at times has become a chore. I get a bit of anxiety when I feel that there is something I should be doing. I sometimes find it hard to relax, or even watch TV because I feel like I should also be doing laundry, cooking, crocheting, or even playing a game or checking facebook on my iPad just because I am sitting down.
Although my “to do” list always gets done, my lack of focus has had the adverse effect on items that deserve more of my attention because they are getting too little. I get tired, overwhelmed, and drawn to the activity that I want to do first – rather than the one I should do first. This has become evident more recently when my life’s goals as a childless adult were all getting accomplished.
College degree, professional degree, marriage, registration, house, car, dog, new job… check, check, check. What else can make me feel alive and important? Kids? Wine?
I recently read this off of another blog. It is an excerpt by Barrie Davenport (www.barriedavenport.com) and really hit home with me on this afternoon of internet perusal. It is about an “adrenaline lifestyle” and cuts straight to the core with how I feel about my life, and maybe how you feel about yours.
We’ve been conditioned to believe that the more we schedule our lives, the more we can multi-task, the longer and harder we work, the more valuable we are to society. We are stuck on a treadmill of tasks, commitments, and useless time-fillers because we haven’t allowed ourselves the space to know what our deepest desires might be. We often feel guilty that we are letting others down or worried that we might be perceived as lazy and non-productive.
But the purpose of life isn’t to produce. It’s to live fully and joyfully. We aren’t here to accommodate other people’s hopes and dreams, we are meant to fulfill our own.
Pick your top five and focus intently on those. Allow yourself to be deeply engaged in the task at hand without worrying about the next item on the list. Becoming deeply engaged puts you in that state of “flow” that is immensely peaceful and satisfying.
I choose more quality time with my family and friends, furthering my career into a direction that better suits me, and I don’t know. Only three more? This may take a hot minute…
Designing and building our new home. This has been an on and off activity of mine from over the last few months, but because there is no rush I don’t feel like making it a priority when it is actually something I am quite passionate about.
New activities around my city. These would preferably be free so I can save up and afford to go and do new activities that are in a different, more exotic, city.
My body. I have been trying to look like I did 10 years ago for about a decade. Let’s get moving and do this.