My friend on facebook posted an article from eHarmony about how a "career woman" should act on a first date, and the undertone is pretty appalling. You can read the full article here, but basically it says to:
- Leave work at work.
- Fine, I get that, it is always a good idea for both women and men to do.
- Talking about work will come off as "masculine and assertive" is where you've lost me.
- Let him pick up the tab.
- OK, I understand, chivalry and all that - especially since it is a first date. I would still go for the "wallet grab" though, ladies. I wouldn't want him to think that you can't take care of yourself.
- Wear a dress, some heels, and perfume, and leave the power suit at home.
- This is a direct quote:
- "Having an attitude of “Well, he shouldn’t be paying attention to my chest; he should be listening to how I closed that deal yesterday!” also won’t help career women get to a second date, so remember that you are in fact a woman and use it to your advantage."
But what if you have trouble feigning enthusiastic interest in superficial bullshit for husband-snagging purposes?
"Career women" or so this article states, would NEVER take this advice so I don't know to whom they think this article is written. This is advice to a woman who wants a more traditional female role in her marriage. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, but some women now prefer a more equal say in the household, can feel accomplished in a good day's work, and have more interests in life than "pleasing her man."
I am married and I acted myself 100% of the time during our dating years and still to this day I have been steadfast with who I am and what I want out of life. I prefer an equal say in our marriage and I have a career that I am proud of and it is a big part of my life - why wouldn't I share it on a first date?
I dated a man before I met my husband in which I felt I had to change who I was around him, and that, to me, is the main issue here. It was exhausting pretending I didn't have an opinion of what we did or where we ate, to get dressed to the nines and in full makeup just to have a movie night in, to not overshadow his mediocre career because I am an architect. I swore to myself: Never Again.
Bottom line is, be who you are. If you like talking about sports, you bring in a nice living, and you want to play flag football on your weekends, do it! There are plenty of men who will not only date a girl like you, but will appreciate your independence and conversation and companionship so much, that they may even be willing to marry you too. ;)